How do we find that flow to create things when we are sick, stressed out or just anxious?
I took off two weeks after Christmas. Two whole weeks in which I allowed myself to have no goals and no to-do lists. After being non-stop busy since September, it was much needed. And something happened. I felt so much more relaxed. I felt a lightness. Then the end of the year clean up began. My husband and I cleaned our entire place from top to bottom and helped our daughter make her girl room into a teenage room. Which I must say, I am terribly jealous of her makeover. Her new, bold green paint. Her found artwork collaged on the walls. The furniture rearranged in a new configuration. I crave change. I light up when a room is rearranged, even if it was better the old way. A new piece of furniture just delights me. And don’t even get me started on paint. I am craving a fresh bucket of paint in every room of our home. I like new beginnings of all kinds.
I was so excited to start the New Year. I had created lists of all the things I want to work on. I felt refreshed, renewed and our living space was so clean and organized. The first week of January it started with a scratch in my throat and a lot of fatigue. The itch grew slowly and now it is January 20th and I have the most wicked cough and crave naps daily. Then, my daughter (who seemed to have skirted the illness) developed the cough. All of this to say, we all plan, we can have all the motivation in the world, then life happens. In my life, it seems to always be health concerns. If I’m not sick, something in my daughter’s health or someone close to me is causing me concern.
Which brings me to the chaos of life. How do we find that flow to create things when we are sick, stressed out or just anxious? For me, I just curl up on the couch in something comfy, grab my sketchbook or iPad and just start making marks. I can’t say I always want to. This month an Illustrator I love partnered with a magazine I love and announced The Great Outdoors creative brief. They asked “What natural landscape would you pick to express your creative personality?” I really wanted to make sometimes but I didn’t feel like I could. I was inspired by the idea but felt it just wouldn’t come together. I was too ill and needed to work on other stuff. But then I just decided to sketch. I joined a group on Instagram doing a 100 Day Project. I bought a little sketchbook (less intimidating) and committed to a simple sketch daily. It keeps me drawing and I find little bits of magic here and there. So I started to sketch little landscapes. I knew the landscape of Hawaii with the water and tropical plants was where I wanted to head.
After a week of doing little doodles with paint pens, I decided to pick up my iPad and just start building my landscape. I remembered this postcard I bought there over a decade ago of a hula dancer. It was printed on a brown kraft paper and felt like a vintage illustration back when they would paint pin-ups on the side of World War II planes. I have the image in my mind, but have lost that postcard since. And slowly, day after day, my landscape began to emerge.
When I first went to Hawaii, I fell in love. The beautiful glass waters full of colorful creatures. The tropical, wild plants. The warm daily rains. The feel of the air on your skin. We last visited the quaint village of Hilo. We stayed right on the water where a volcanic rock bay created a cove for all the sea turtles. The weather would get saucy some days and all the beautiful Hibiscus flowers would blow into the blue waters and float all around us. Vibrant green plants and pink ginger grew out of the deep black lava rocks. Myrna birds that looked like little cartoon bandits were racing around everywhere. Every day I walked through the tropical jungle and discovered something new. It is the place that makes me feel most alive.
I find when things get stressful and the unexpected happens, it is the perfect time to be creative. It is therapy. It gives you a space to escape to. It gives you something to look forward to. I had a slow start to the new year. But not when it came to practicing my kraft. I know no matter what life might throw at me, I always have my drawer of paint markers. Sometimes being able to play is the most healing thing we can do for ourselves. One of the biggest goals I’ve made for myself the past three years is to slow down. I have to remind myself of this often. I’m getting better at it. But still. Slow down. No one is making you rush. No one is taking score. Carve out time to do the things that light you up everyday. This one practice will make all the difference.
I went to a screening of Perfect Days by Win Wenders. It is about an older man who lives in a simple apartment in Tokyo, cleans toilets for a living, and delights in the little things that fill his day. It is about how it is not the things we own, but the world we chose to live in. We might come from a troubled past, lost touch with people we love, but each day is a new beginning. Do you wake up looking forward to your day? What do you notice around you? What music do you play? What do you read? What delights you? We have to the power to create the world we live in daily.
Many creatives know Elizabeth Gilbert from her amazing book Big Magic. It is a must read if you have yet to pick it up. She also has a Substack on writing letters of love to yourself. I just love hearing her talk about creativity and how it moves through us. It always inspires me. This January she was a guest on the podcast We Can Do Hard Things. Give it a listen here. The women on this podcast always make me laugh. And sometimes cry.